Johari Window

Ever wonder how you might be different if at the age of 14 you were able to hear what others thought was your greatest weakness?

One of the things I enjoy the most about conversing with my teen is her ability to engage with topics that she might not find interesting, but are important to me. I have recently been through SEVERAL job interviews and have done a lot of research on how to answer interview questions. The one most folks dread is the one question I had a firm answer for: What is your greatest weakness?

I was sharing this with my teen when she commented that she felt her greatest weakness was her temper. Now, don't get me wrong, her temper IS, at times, her greatest weakness. But, I told her I felt her greatest weakness was her inability to focus on any one thing for an extended period of time. What is interesting is that her dad had a different idea of what her greatest weakness is. Dad said he felt her greatest weakness is her attitude toward new ideas.

As with most teens, mine thinks she knows everything about everything. I have an idea that this is mostly a response out of fear, but still, she puts up her defenses when it comes to new things. This can include a new food, a new outlook about an old subject, a new movie genre, a new restaurant, etc.

It made me think of one of my favorite topics in psychology - self-awareness. There is a very useful tool for better understanding oneself, and that is what is called the Johari Window. It is a tool that allows folks to understand how it takes everyone around you to really understand who you are.

For example, have you ever known anyone who would bounce their leg when they were nervous. Or maybe they're not even nervous, they're just bored. You reach over and put your hand on their knee to make them stop because they're shaking the couch, table, or maybe the whole room. Were they aware they were behaving like this? Maybe, but probably not. That is the idea behind self-awareness.

Take a look at the picture below. It's called a Johari Window. You can google it yourself and find out all the philosophy behind it, but I use this tool often. When I spoke with my teen about it, she was pretty excited. She loves psychology, kinda like her mom does. She was able to take in the information provided by her dad and I about her greatest weakness. I believe she will always remember what we said and will consider those things as she grows.