The Drive Home

My teenager is a babysitter. She works twice a week for a family about 20 minutes from our house. Our trip home today contained at least 6 topics.

Here goes:
As noted in an earlier post, non-verbal communication tells about half the story for a teenager. As she walked to the car, slumped shoulders and frowning, I knew it was not going to be a great ride home.

Topic 1:
"Long day?" I asked. "Yeah. My head hurts. Do you have any Advil?" Of course I have Advil, provide the requested pain reliever, and the next topic begins.

Topic 2:
"You know that old lady substitute at school that yells at me for no reason?" Proverbial question that I did not answer. "I now know why she yells at me. She CAN'T HEAR!" Evidently she was the substitute today for Spanish II. Instructions left included watching The Little Mermaid . . . in English. Which evidently was not watched thanks to texting and blue tooth capabilities.

Topic 3:
"My notebook is so pretty! Somebody at school had neon markers." A friend of hers asked why she did not have her boyfriend's initials written on the notebook. Her answer was quite logical . . . "High School love isn't supposed to last forever." Very insightful. "I have his initials in pencil."

Topic 4:
"I hate it when I'm mad." At this point in the conversation, I am mostly nodding and saying "uh huh." Evidently having emotions are OK, it's when emotions control you that it's not OK. "When I'm mad my stomach burns." Hmmmmm. Interesting from a 14 year old. She readily admits to strong mood swings. "I know it's happening, and I just can't stop it!" Really? She knows this about herself? I know adults that aren't this self-aware.

Topic 5:
"She is a compulsive liar and makes everything about her." The person being discussed here has been through more trauma than I hope to ever see in my lifetime. I explained to her that the lying is most likely a defense mechanism to get her through everything that has happened. "But why doesn't she stop?" Very good question. "Habit," I tell her. She accepts this answer, and then we moved to schizophrenia and creating a false reality to escape true reality. Whew! It's a lot for a middle-aged mother to handle, let alone a 14 year old.

Topic 6:
"I love Ramen Noodles."

Wow. All this in 20 minutes! AND, with a headache. Somewhere in the midst of all that we talked about music, a broken microwave, and who broke up with whom today. Did you keep up?